Subodhi was born in 1949 in Amsterdam and as a young woman enjoyed the ‘provo-time’ in her home city while working in a knitting shop. She met Veeresh at Emiliehoeve, a therapeutic community for people with addiction problems in The Hague, and later worked, for about 7 years, for the De Appel theater travelling around the country as part of the production crew. In 1984 she visited the Humaniversity for a couple of months; there she received her mala from Samadhi and Veeresh.
After visiting Rajneeshpuram for one of the Festivals she moved to Santa Fe for some time and in 1985 she came to live in the Amsterdam area where many sannyasins had gathered after the commune in Oregon ended. She always joined the summer bonfires at the lake and also worked at the TransBuddha disco.
When Osho had again settled in Pune she visited the commune every year. She had a house in Pune and many remember her driving back and forth on her scooter. She did theatre performances, participated in Meera’s painting workshops and Gurdjieff dances. When Osho left his body she was in Goa. As soon as she heard the news she immediately took the bus back to Pune for the celebrations. On her last night in hospital she was as quiet and peaceful as she had described how she had felt in 1990 when sitting and meditating in Lao Tzu.
Subodhi was a very good photographer. In 2011, on the occasion of Osho Day (19th January) and in memory of the bombing at the German Bakery, she had an exhibition at Unmani’s studio, Il Cielo, showing the photos she had taken at Rajneeshpuram. In 2013 she exhibited them also at the Wajid Osho Meditation Centre in The Hague.
These last three years Subodhi did many Queensday Markets together with Urja, as well as festivals and events to promote silence. She read Tarot and Rune cards and sold things from India. In summer 2016 she participated in a workshop with Vedanta in Greece but soon became weak.
Subodhi died in hospital after a stroke surrounded by friends.
Unmani writes:
We love Subodhi; she was a great, straight, strong woman with all the juice and craziness imaginable. She was deeply connected with Osho and very creative; she was a great storyteller; she loved acting and was particularly good in making funny and meaningful presents. On every birthday we would laugh when we tried to imagine what present Subodhi would make us that year. They were always funny and full of love.
And Urja writes:
Anita and I were with her during her illness. On 17th November she had a stroke and was unconscious after that. Together with Unmani I was at the hospital on Saturday evening and we came to hear that there was nothing more that could be done for her. On Sunday, 20th November, we sensed she was leaving her body. Those last moments with her were a delight for Anita, the two of us and others present; sitting in silence and meditating, in deep stillness. It was very intense. It was very blissful to be with her; when dawn came with a thin sun sparkle I saw delight on her face as if healing had happened.
In the following days we experienced a very strong energy; we became aware that her energy was melting into everyone’s energy field. We can’t say that she became enlightened during her death process, but the blast of energy which overwhelmed us made us all think so.
On Monday was her cremation. The room was full, all her friends where there, those we had expected to see but also those we had not expected. One of them said, “For Subodhi I would go through all my fears of showing up.” Everything came full circle, no unclarities left open. It was beautiful to be there and see everybody listen to Osho talk about death and tell a joke. One by one we sprinkled white rose petals over her body in the coffin. The energy was very high, but also soft and sweet when we carried her away.
On 3rd December I participated in her Death Celebration at Wajid Meditation Centre in The Hague. It had been organised by Vedanta. Last year Subodhi had been participating in workshops with Vedanta, some in Greece and some at Wajid. When Vedanta arrived and rang the bell at Wajid’s front door, I went to meet her, we hugged and Vedanta said to me, “Where Subodhi is right now, she is in a good space.”
The celebration was very touching and beautiful, beyond body-mind, beyond personalities, identifications and personal agendas. Dhyano and Desiree said some words about her last hours in hospital. Then the music started with ‘From the fire of stars…’ and we all sang along. At the same time a sequence of photos was shown on a big screen, all of Subodhi from last summer in Greece in the funny poses we all know of her. Vedanta spoke about Subodhi and ended with remembering how crazy we would dance in Buddha Hall and on the roads to the burning ghats after the death of a fellow traveller. She ended her speech with, “We could dance too, like in Buddha Hall.” So we did, like crazy. It was mind-blowing. Funny enough, we had expected to hear Osho songs or Miten and Premal’s but it was loud rock and roll, Metallica, Nina Hagen.
The celebration was followed by a sannyas initiation – bliss was felt all around. My arms went up in the air and then I bowed to the ground to give the energy back to the earth. After this all doubts, fears, uncertainties and insecurities about ‘did I do it right’ concerning Subodhi’s life and death was washed away. As if she had shown me the way, given me her signal to fly high. It was not me or anybody doing anything, it was a non-doing. We all felt grateful for this great event at Wajid. It was like a shower of love; there was space to be totally ourselves without any holding back.
This same way I had felt that Sunday morning when I opened the curtains at the hospital and saw Subodhi’s pale face and white nose. The doctor had walked in to see her but I knew already that she was gone. ‘In her absence the presence’ – a delight… The beauty of all this is the gift of being in the process of death. The energy is high and available to experience this great gift of life. Everybody experienced it in their own way, in truth. Thanks Subodhi!
Text and photos thanks to Urja and Unmani
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